Episode 3 Transcript:
Feeling Stuck? How to become unstuck

Feeling stuck. Here's how to become unstuck.

 

Hi and welcome to another episode of Improve Your Work and Life with me, Francis Fung.

 

So to put it very simply, feeling stuck is when you feel unhappy.

 

Or there's a feeling inside you that feels you could do more.

 

Or something's not quite right, either in work or school or in a relationship. It could be anything.

 

So why do we even feel stuck? Where does that feeling come from, of being unhappy?

 

So feeling stuff comes from when there's a lack of progress in your life,

 

Or a feeling of lack of progress.

 

In your mind, you feel I should be here, but in reality you're at this level.

 

Or you look back at the year and you think, did I achieve what I wanted to achieve this year?

 

At the start of the year I definitely had these plans. I thought I would be doing more.

 

I thought I would have achieved this or I'd be living here or I'd be doing this job.

 

Somehow it's the end of the year. Time has flown by and you're not quite where you are.

 

Things haven't changed. Things have not progressed.

 

You're doing what you've done. You study or you go to work. The year's gone. Am I just gonna repeat this again next year?

 

I'm in the same position that I was last year. How many years must I continue being in the same position?

 

You might be feeling. Where's this all leading? Where is this going?

 

Progress is something that we need to feel happy.

 

Progress equals growth, development. The feeling of moving forward in life.

 

The feeling of changing. That's when we feel happiest. When there's no progress. That's when we feel stuck. When we feel in the same place.

 

So how to become unstuck? The first thing to do is to assess yourself.

 

I'm going to put this in a very, very simple way and hopefully most people will understand this way.

 

And that is imagine you're using Google Maps or Apple Maps, whatever application that you use as a map application.

 

And you press the where am I now location button. The mark, which tells you exactly where you are on the map right now.

 

And this map was your life. And you press that button to find out where you are.

 

Is that where you wanted to be right now in your life?

 

That's how you first assess your situation currently, right now.

 

So firstly, you see where you are. You also assess yourself by just listing down where you are, what you have, what you're doing, the main things that brought you here.

 

That's the first step. To assess where you are right now.

 

The second step is, where is your goal. Where do you want to get to?

 

So again, using the analogy of Google Maps. Where is your end destination?

 

You don't have to plan all the way to the end of your life, of course.

 

Just for example, plan the next one year, if that's too far. Plan the next half a year.

 

Where do you want to be at the end of six months or a year?

 

Write that on your list, as your goal or as your location. That's where you want to go. That's where you want to progress to.

 

So about the second step of setting goals.

 

Don't try to fix or don't try to solve everything in your life at once, you will be overwhelmed.

 

There are too many things. We have to take it step by step.

 

So set one small goal for maybe half a year or a year down the line. And that goal could be money. It could be jobs. It could be where you want to be in your relationships.

 

Set that goal. Write it down in the list.

 

So you've assessed yourself. That's the first step.

 

Second is you've got an end goal to go to. So now you have to work out the steps in between.

 

Again, because of the map analogy, I'm going to call these milestones; points along the route, which you can check where you are and how you're doing.

 

You need to have these milestones. You can't just say, "Here I am. Here's where I'm going to, somehow I'm going to get there".

 

So you need to have these points to measure and occasionally check in with yourself to find out if you're on the right course.

 

For example, you want to change job by the end of the year. Well, the milestones in between, monthly or weekly, might be update your CV or Resume.

 

Look for the jobs that you're interested in applying to, finding if you have the right skills.

 

If you do, great. If you don't, what do you need to learn? Where do you need to improve to get those skills?

 

If you want to pay off debts, that's your end goal. And right now you're in debt.

 

What are the milestones in between?

 

Look at your incoming and outgoing expenses. So where you spend your money, how much money you get in, what are you spending it on?

 

How much are you saving? Do I need to stop spending money on something?

 

While setting your milestones, you inevitably will be asking yourself some questions in your head.

 

For example, is this the right milestone? Can I actually set this? If I'm missing some skills or if I'm missing some points that I need to learn? How do I go do it?

 

You will inevitably ask yourself those sort of questions. Now, one big point that I want to share with you is when you are asking yourself those questions in your head.

 

Be careful of the tone of voice that you're using with yourself.

 

What I mean by that is naturally, I don't know why, but naturally we will talk to ourselves in a more negative tone of voice.

 

That is what you have to be careful about.

 

So, for example, you want to be a designer. You'll probably ask yourself or probably tell yourself you don't have a portfolio, you don't have experience,.

 

You're not good at typography, you don't have design sense.

 

All of those will block you again. But deep down, you'll feel "But I want to be a designer" and you feel stuck because you're telling yourself I can't. But deep down, you want to do it.

 

So you have to talk to yourself in a positive way, in a positive voice.

 

How do you talk to yourself in that positive way?

 

So, for example, I don't know typography. I don't know about design, but I can learn.

 

I can take a course. I can go online. I can watch YouTube videos. I can go to the library. I can read some books.

 

There are so many ways to learn. There's no reason that you can't do anything nowadays.

 

You just go "How do I..." on Google and type something in, and they're free.

 

You have talk to yourself positively. You can't put yourself down.

 

You can't on the one hand, feel stuck and want a goal. But then at the same time, tell yourself that you can't do it.

 

That just contradicts itself. You have to tell yourself that you can. And set small, achievable goals as these milestones, and take it step by step.

 

You can't plot out the whole way perfectly. You can have rough guides. And that's what these milestones are. But all the tiny, tiny steps in between, you have to take it step by step, day by day.

 

And every day, evaluate yourself. At the end of the day, did I do what I set out to do? I didn't. Don't judge yourself too harshly. Try again tomorrow.

 

And try better tomorrow and try to stay on that path as perfectly as possible. And if you don't, it's fine.

 

I mean, that's why on Google Maps, we're allowed to assess where we are. We zoom out. We press the button, find where we are now.

 

We can reassess that path. We can reassess that route to the goal.

 

So there are many, many different ways, but they can all lead to the same goal.

 

So I think that's it. Pretty much, there were three steps to becoming unstuck.

 

Firstly, assessing where you are on the map. Zoom out. Press "Find your location".

 

See where you are in your life right now and assess is this where you want to be?

 

The second one is setting the goal of where you want to be. Something that lets you know there's a there's an end goal to go to so that, you know you can progress toward something.

 

Because as we said, progression equals growth and development, which equals happiness.

 

But set yourself realistic goals though. Don't set something that is crazily unachievable.

 

Now, it's good to be positive and it's good to have belief and it's good to believe in abundance and manifestation,.

 

But try not to set something that will make you feel let down.

 

So don't put "In a year later, I want to be a billionaire".

 

You might. And I hope you do, if that's your goal. But to become a billionaire in a year, that's something I would say is rather on the unrealistic side.

 

Set yourself something more realistic, something that you feel you can achieve with hard work and positivity.

 

Those milestones have to be achievable. That and have to make you feel that you are making progress.

 

And the third and final point is, you've assessed where you are, you've got your goal; set the points in between, the milestones in between.

 

Now, these milestones, how you keep track, it's up to you.

 

You can check in with yourself once a month. You can check in with yourself once a week.

 

Keep a track of where you are just to see if you're going even towards those milestones.

 

So all that's left for me to say is, in order to become unstuck, go and start and take action now.

 

There's only three steps.

 

Assess. Have the end goal. Set the milestones in between.

 

Get out a notepad. Get out notes on your phone. Start typing away. Just get some thoughts out.

 

Stay positive. Take action. Read any blogs you need to read.

 

Go on YouTube. Watch any videos that you need. Join a Facebook community. There are so many ways. But take some action.

 

Do something. At least by the end of today, you will have made some progress. It might just be a tiny bit, but some progress is better than nothing.

 

Also, expect things to get better. You cannot have a negative attitude and expect things to change for the better.

 

You can't say "Oh okay, I'm gonna go set these goals." But thinking in a negative way.

 

You have to be positive. You have to know this is for the better and that the milestones you are setting are taking you in the right direction.

 

You have to believe things will get better.

 

So good luck with your goal setting. Good luck with becoming unstuck and I hope this video has helped.

 

Let me know your comments, your thoughts. Leave me a message down below. You can find all my links to all my other social channels.

 

Find me, send a message. Always happy to help and connect.

 

Good luck with your goal setting. Have a good day. See you next time.

©2019 Francis Fung - Sloane Japan